


turning saints into the sea.

by ivermectin



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Gossip Girl does not Exist, Banter, Blair and Serena's Christmas Party, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Milo Humphrey is briefly mentioned, Mistletoe, Mutual Pining, POV Dan Humphrey, Past Blair/Nate, Past Serena/Nate, Serena and Blair are very encouraging wingwomen, past Dan/Blair, past Dan/Serena, their lives are similar to what they were on the show, there just isnt someone cataloguing it online
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:14:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27459316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivermectin/pseuds/ivermectin
Summary: When Dan and Nate are caught under the mistletoe at Serena and Blair's Christmas party, Dan excuses himself immediately after the kiss. He would be ready to mope, drink too much, and possibly cry, but Serena and Blair aren't having any of it. In which Serena and Blair don't meddle - well, not too much - but a gentle push is enough to set the ball rolling.
Relationships: Dan Humphrey & Blair Waldorf, Dan Humphrey & Serena van der Woodsen, Nate Archibald/Dan Humphrey, Serena van der Woodsen/Blair Waldorf (background)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	turning saints into the sea.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. not sure how much of this is canon compliant. you can choose!  
> 2\. rating is M because there is what is _technically_ a sex scene, with orgasms and everything! but no dicks/butts are involved, so it didn't feel right rating it explicit.  
> 3\. title is from "mr brightside" because, _it was only a kiss how did it end up like this_ is the whole premise of this. 
> 
> also worth noting: blair & serena literally went "how do we ensure that dan, someone we're mutually exes with, and nate, somebody else who we are mutually exes with, hook up and get together?" now, that is true power.

It’s just _one_ kiss. One singular mistletoe kiss of all things, but Dan feels himself melt against Nate, one of his hands pressing against the flat space between his shoulder blades, the other hand pressed against his lower back. Nate isn’t bothered by Dan’s clinginess, he just deepens the kiss, practically smiling into Dan’s mouth. His hand finds its way into Dan’s hair, fingers playing with it, while the other hand grasps at his hip. There is suddenly not enough air in the room.

Dan leaps back like he’s been scalded, giving Nate a shaky smile and not meeting his eyes, barely looking at him. If he _had_ been looking at Nate, he would’ve seen the hurt and confusion in his expression, but as it was, he was on the run. Blair and Serena’s Christmas party was not the right place to kiss Nate, the one man they had both dated at one point or the other. The shared ex of both of his exes, the only two girls he’d ever been in love with.

But if only that were the least of his concerns. The love polygon doesn’t bother him. It’s the way he’d fit in Nate Archibald’s arms, the way he’d melted.

The good thing about being in Blair and Serena’s place is that he knows his way around, and he heads away from the party to where they store the extra wine. He gets a good ten minutes of moping and drinking from the bottle before he hears the soft tapping of stilettos against the floor. If it’s Blair, he’s fucked, he thinks, still sipping from the bottle. She’ll want him dead for stealing from the wine stash and _sipping._

He’s in luck though; it’s Serena. She takes the bottle from him, taps his chin with a finger.

“Hello, ex-cater waiter ex-boyfriend of mine,” she says, smiling. She sips from the bottle too, unconcerned, and then pulls a face. “Since when do _you_ drink stuff like this, Dan?”

Dan bristles despite himself. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Serena hands him the bottle back, puts her hand on his elbow. “This is moping wine, Dan. Alcohol for men in a sulk. Never figured you’d be one of those.”

“Well, I never figured I’d be thoroughly kissed by Nate Archibald,” Dan points out. He takes another overly generous gulp of the alcohol, misses where his mouth is, spills a fair amount on his shirt.

Serena, in her defence, doesn’t ogle him, she just gives him a look and grins. “Do you want me to get you an extra shirt? I definitely have a few men’s shirts. I might even have yours.”

“Why do you…” Dan begins, and then falters, wondering if he really wants to know the answer to that.

“You know me,” Serena says lightly. “I break men’s hearts, I steal men’s shirts.”

Dan laughs, and Serena beams back.

“Come on,” she says, taking Dan’s hand, pulling him up the narrow stairs attached to the kitchen. “And don’t think you’ve gotten off easy. Talk to me.”

There is genuine concern in her voice, which, _figures._ Dan’s last bender had been after he and Blair had broken up, and that had been amicable, even. She’d told him they’d always be friends, always watch movies together and help each other when they were in need. He’d told her, _sure, whatever you want, Blair,_ and five hours later, Serena had needed to rescue him from some truly reckless drinking and embarrassingly public sobbing. She’d told him, later, that it was the first time that _she’d_ been the sober friend in that situation. Dan had smirked, said, _happy to help, Serena,_ but he hadn’t been particularly happy and neither had she.

So: Serena isn’t being unreasonable. In fact, if left to his own devices, Dan would probably get drunk enough to do something truly unforgiveable like try to sneak into Nate’s unmade bed and cry into his pillow.

“You already know that you like men,” Serena points out once they’re in her room. Dan’s sitting on her bed, intentionally not looking at her. Blair’d been onto something, choosing the sunflower yellow paint for Serena’s wall. If Serena was a colour, she’d be the warmest yellow, the brightest golden.

“Liking men and liking Nate are two different things,” Dan points out. “Serena, he’s one of my best friends. We play Wii sports together, and make weird Gatorade ice-cream hybrid drinks. Sometimes we get high and talk about people we like together. He gives surprisingly good relationship advice.”

“See?” Serena looks happy, as if Dan’s proven her point. Which he has _not_. “You both already care about each other and trust each other. What’s the worry?”

“I can’t lose him,” Dan says, exhaling, lying down on her bed.

“Hey, none of that,” Serena says. “You’re still wearing the wet shirt. Let me – ” She leans over, begins to undo Dan’s shirt buttons, her hair spilling over him.

The door opens, and it’s _Blair_. Dan isn’t sure whether that’s better or worse than Nate walking in on this. He’s sober enough to know what it looks like.

Thankfully, all Blair does is give them one of her classic _what the fuck_ expressions. She closes the door, says, “S, not this again. If you have to have some kind of romantic do-over, couldn’t you choose a hotter ex to do it with?”

“Blair, he’s your ex too,” Serena says, sounding tired.

“ _He_ is right here, and loves you both as best friends and best friends only, thank you,” Dan interjects. “Serena, do you know if – ”

“Hold on, Humphrey, you can talk to her later,” Blair interrupts. “I need to know. What did you do to Nate?”

Dan goes entirely still. It is like every part of his body has forgotten how to move.

“ _Blair,_ ” Serena says, chiding. Something non-verbal passes between the two of them.

“Sorry,” Blair offers, sitting on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on Dan’s knee. “Nate left early. I don’t think you did anything wrong, though; he wasn’t angry, okay?”

“Mmhm,” Dan says, not looking at either of them, staring at the ceiling instead. Serena has, at this point, undone all the buttons on his shirt.

“For heaven’s sake, Dan,” Blair huffs. “You’re not a cabbage patch doll. Stop making Serena clothe you.”

Dan and Serena exchange an amused look at that, and Dan gets up. Serena hands him a shirt, and he puts it on, barely glancing at it, doing the buttons mechanically.

“Do me a favour,” he says, looking at both of them. Blair and Serena have mellowed out in a way he wouldn’t have thought possible from what he knew of them in high school, all the jealousy and scheming and insecurity melting away into a sort of intimacy that could only come from knowing someone truly and deeply, knowing them better than you know yourself. Dan is glad they both broke up with him and found each other; they both make each other a lot happier than he could’ve ever made either of them.

“If you’re going to suggest a threesome, the answer is no,” Blair says.

Dan, despite himself, laughs. “No, no threesome,” he says. “Tell me. When Nate kissed you… did it feel revolutionary? Shattering? Did it scare you with how much it meant?”

“Yeah,” Serena says absently, touching her mouth and gazing into the distance.

“No,” Blair says at the same time, but her expression is fond.

Serena and Blair exchange a look.

“Do you think this means – ” Serena begins.

“Did he tell you that he’s over you?” Blair asks Serena.

“Yeah, ages ago,” Serena says. “And he and you?”

“We were never really real, however much I wanted it,” Blair says, looking at Serena. “Are _you_ over him?”

Serena gives Blair a tired look. “I’m engaged to a _woman_ , remember?”

“I know,” Blair says, soft and fond. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine, it’s all good,” Serena says. “But we think… Nate… Dan?”

“Yes,” Blair confirms.

“Okay, full sentences, please,” Dan asks, waving his hands.

“So, here is our conjecture,” Blair says. “How much a Nate-kiss means is influenced by two factors. How _you_ feel about him, but also how _he_ feels about you. He’s an open book. If he’s in love with you, he’ll kiss you like it, tender and soft and gentle.” She looks at Serena. “Right?”

“Yes,” Serena says. “And Dan, did you do that thing you do? Where you hold the person while you’re kissing them and sort of lean against them?”

“Oh, or the single-minded focus thing?” Blair raises an eyebrow. “That thing where you go all tunnel vision and silly and kiss like you’re taking an SAT on kissing?”

“It is extremely weird that you’re both my exes, and Nate is both your exes,” Dan says.

“Yes, but now _we_ are together,” Blair says, pointing at Serena, and then pointing at herself, as if Dan needs his explanations babied down. “Now, you need to woo Nate, to complete the circle.”

“Wait, B, he never answered us. Did you kiss him like that?” Serena asks, looking at Dan with a small, encouraging smile on her face.

“I kissed him like we were at the altar or something,” Dan says, and then puts his face in his hands. “I have _never_ had a kiss like that with anyone before. I want to _die._ ”

“But you never realised, or thought that you have a crush on Nate until this point?” Blair asks, no bite to it, just curiosity.

“I never let myself consider it,” Dan says, miserable. “You know how it is, when you’re in love with your best friend. You don’t want to risk losing everything.”

“In love?” Serena says.

“I was talking about the two of _you,_ ” Dan says.

“No, you weren’t, but we’ll let that slide,” Blair says, putting a hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently. “What do you want us to do?”

“I don’t know,” Dan says. “I think I’m going to go home, sleep it off.”

Serena and Blair exchange a look, doing that non-verbal communication thing again. They are the most married unmarried people Dan knows.

“You can sleep here,” Serena offers. “If you want. We can watch kids movies together and eat Oreo ice-cream.”

Dan gives Serena a look, a _you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone that I do that to cope,_ kind of look.

Blair isn’t paying attention to Dan though, she’s laughing. “S, come on. No way Dan has the same coping mechanisms as you.”

Dan raises an eyebrow, and Serena honest to god _winks_ at him. If she wasn’t his best friend, he would start a pillow fight and hit her in the face with a pillow. Hell, he might do that even though she’s his best friend, but he still isn’t entirely sober.

“Can we just listen to the radio, or something?” he asks, lying down.

“You’re such an old man,” Blair says, but it’s fond.

-

The next morning, Serena walks him back home. Once he’s in the loft, taking his shirt off, he notices the label on the shirt she’s given him.

It says ARCHIBALD.

Dan calls Serena on the phone. She doesn’t pick up, probably knowing what he’s calling for. His guess is proven right when he gets a text message from her immediately after.

“give him back the shirt,” it says, and it’s followed by an arsenal of winky face emojis, aubergine emojis, sparkly emojis, and even a rainbow or two.

“i hate you, ur evil,” Dan sends back.

-

Something about keeping Nate’s shirt makes Dan feel dishonest and gross about himself, so he does the laundry as fast as he can, and walks over to Nate’s place. Ever since the big blow out with Chuck, Nate’s taken to living alone in a modest flat, no housekeeping help or anything. He’s trying to cook, but orders in a lot of the time, but what matters is that he is independent, and he is happy. Dan is very proud of him.

He rings the bell.

Nate opens the door. He looks somehow worse than Dan feels – dark circles under his eyes, hair clearly uncombed, and the jumper he’s wearing has a large jam stain on the collar. Still, seeing him in the flesh makes Dan hurt with how badly he wants to grab Nate’s face and plant one on him again. He licks his lips, distracted.

“Hey,” Nate says, quiet.

“I have your shirt,” Dan says. “I mean, that sounds creepy. It was a shirt you gave Serena? Or Serena took from you. And I think it’s less weird that Serena owns it, not because of the ex-girlfriend thing, but because you were friends from childhood onwards, so I bet it wasn’t a big deal. Me keeping your shirt though, that’s different, it could mean something – ”

“Dan,” Nate says. He puts his hands on Dan’s shoulders, practically pulls him into his house, closes the door. Then, he lets go of Dan as if he’s been burnt. He exhales deeply, through his nose. “Was it that terrible?”

“I’m not following,” Dan says. “Do you mean the shirt? Because surely you know the shirt was great. Very comfortable, I mean, you have tailors, and the fabric was really soft, and it’s been in Serena’s cupboard for long enough that it has that nice flowery smell that some of her sweaters have – ”

“ _No_ ,” Nate says. “The kiss. You can’t even talk to me normally. You’re doing that thing you do when you’re nervous.”

“That’s because I _am_ nervous,” Dan admits, quiet.

“That’s the problem! You shouldn’t be nervous, not around me! We’re best friends, aren’t we?” Nate exhales in a way that is almost angry, and for a tiny, scary second, Dan is almost afraid that Nate is going to hit him in the face again. Maybe Nate sees it, because his body language changes into something cautious. “I’m sorry I kissed you like that,” Nate says. “It ruined everything.”

“Wait, what?” Dan blinks. “You… you’re sorry that… _you_ kissed me too intensely?”

“Yeah, bro,” Nate says, and it looks like he’s having difficulty maintaining eye-contact, which is ridiculous, this is _Nate._ He always looks people in the eye. “I know you don’t even like me, and I just acted like your boyfriend. No wonder you ran away from me like that.”

“Nate, I…” Dan is, for once, at a loss for words. He settles for throwing the shirt he’s holding over his shoulder instead, hoping it lands on the chair next to the tiny fridge but not looking to check. Direct action works best, so he doesn’t let himself overthink, he presses his mouth against Nate’s, insistent. Nate’s frozen for a second, but his arms curl around Dan immediately after, and he runs his hands up and down Dan’s back as if checking his solidity, all the while kissing him tenderly.

Dan shifts, puts his hands on Nate’s shoulders, presses even closer, his breath unsteady. One of his hands is cupping Nate’s face, and is disbelievingly stroking his cheek. His other hand is still grasping at Nate’s shoulder as if he needs physical contact with Nate to survive.

Nate shifts, and Dan moves as well, and their hips collide in what is simultaneously the most coordinated _and_ the most discordant movement. Dan giggles inanely, and then Nate’s hands are shifting, hoisting Dan up and grasping the underside of his thighs, his hands clutching at Dan’s hips. It is very much the sort of move Dan would employ on the various women he’s been with, but he’s never been on the receiving end of it before, and he is suddenly out of breath.

“You are so beautiful,” Nate tells Dan, quietly. “Do you have any idea what you do to me? You’re so pretty, and you don’t even seem to realise it.”

Dan huffs something that could be a laugh, if he had any breath left in his lungs. “I know very well what I do to you, remember, your boner is poking my knee.”

Nate laughs, the look in his eyes gentle and fond. It’s been a very long time since someone looked at Dan like that, with such undisguised sweetness and want.

Nate carries him over to the couch, and in a single movement, presses him against it, and begins to pepper his face and the underside of his jaw with kisses. Dan gets his hands up Nate’s shirt, and the rest of it is a blur. Neither of them touches the other’s dicks; they’re both too busy touching each other everywhere else, and their hips are grinding against each other anyway, and the friction and intimacy and everything else is _just right._ Dan comes with Nate’s name in his mouth, and collapses against Nate, shifting so that he can hear Nate’s heartbeat. He exhales, and watches, and he can tell exactly when Nate comes, his body curling against Dan’s and his breathing betraying his orgasm.

Dan feels dazed, like he has a fever or something, and as he comes back to himself, the situation feels more and more surreal. He looks at Nate, feeling like he’s looking at him for the first time.

“Oh,” he says, putting his hand on Nate’s neck, feeling very much like the boy pressed against him is a precious thing.

“A good oh, I hope,” Nate says.

“The best oh,” Dan says. And he says, “Do you want to do a round two?”

Nate just laughs, and kisses Dan’s forehead gently. “I’m not a one-night stand kind of man anymore,” he says, smirking. “But if you agree to be my boyfriend, I might consider it. I make no promises.”

Dan smiles. “What a stupid question. Of course I do; as if you even had a choice. The real question is, do you want your shirt back?”

Nate kisses him then, maybe to shut him up, Dan isn’t sure. Nate’s smiling against Dan’s mouth though, so Dan doesn’t feel too torn up about it.

-

Later, over dinner, Dan tells Nate, “I ran away because I thought the kiss was too intense on _my_ end. I liked it, and it scared me how much I liked it; how much I liked _you_.” He looks at Nate. “You’re my best friend, and I don’t ever want us to resent each other, or not be friends.”

Nate puts a hand on Dan’s cheek, traces the shape of his nose with his thumb. “I know,” he says. “Me too, Dan.”

Dan swallows, thinks of Blair and Serena in the life they are managing to build together somehow, after all of these years of drifting together and apart and closer and away. He thinks of Serena, feeding Blair macarons, of the time they’d had a long discussion about whether they wanted kids, about the ring that Blair asked for Dan’s help buying for Serena. It shouldn’t make him feel like this; he’s dating the man he loves, now. He is getting where he wants, with the only person he wants. And yet, he isn’t being fully honest.

“Can I tell you something?” Dan asks. “I’m in love with you.”

Nate, shockingly, doesn’t look even slightly surprised. “Good,” he says. “I’d hoped you were.”

Dan’s mouth is dry. He doesn’t look at Nate. He looks at his hands instead, curled up on his lap, shaking embarrassingly. He wishes Serena was there with him, wishes he could tell her how everything was going perfectly, and then he ruined it by saying too much, being too much, and how there is _no way_ that somebody like Nate Archibald could love someone like him.

“Hey,” Nate says. “Where did you go? You zoned out for a minute.”

Dan manages a smile. He thinks it comes out decently well. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

Nate sighs. He gently takes Dan’s hands in his, the expression on his face one of quiet concern. “I was going to tell you that I’m glad, because I am in love with you too. I think I have been for years now, ever since, you know, the whole thing with Milo. You’re remarkable.”

“Nate, holy shit,” Dan says. “That was so long ago. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I think it took me a while to realise that the feelings I had for you had a name, you know?” Nate says. “I’d never had a crush on a boy before. I wasn’t like you and Serena, getting matching bi pride tattoos and everything.”

Dan smiles fondly – they _had_ done that! It had been fun!

“You’re like Blair,” he says, instead. “It just hit you one day?”

“Yeah,” Nate says, swallowing. “The first time I saw you kissing a guy. In the past I always thought I was jealous of you for getting with cute girls? I never thought I was jealous of the girls. But you were kissing, uh Robert from that show, the open mic, and I felt like someone was crucifying me.”

“And you’ve been carrying this inside you quietly since then?” Dan asks. He squeezes Nate’s hand in his. “I wish you’d told me. I understand why you didn’t. But, you know.”

Nate smiles. “It’s fine,” he tells Dan. “Jenny sussed me out, and she told me I could talk to her about it if I needed, and that’s what I did. I sent her long and sad emails.”

Dan smiles fondly. “I’m glad that you had someone to talk to. Even if that someone was my little sister, seriously. She must’ve told you so many embarrassing stories about me.”

“Nothing more than what I’ve already witnessed,” Nate says. “Or heard you talk about. You spill all your darkest secrets after five glasses of gin, you know that?”

“That’s why Serena broke up with me,” Dan says, seriously. “I reminded her too much of her grandmother.”

Nate gives him an incredulous look, and then he laughs. They _both_ laugh. It feels good, Dan thinks. Being able to laugh with the person you’re in love with. The knowledge that they love you back. Holding hands over the table.

“Can I stay the night?” Dan asks.

“I wouldn’t let you go even if you wanted to,” Nate says, light-hearted and mischievous.

“Good,” Dan says. He leans over the salad, thinks he gets potato stains on his shirt, does not care enough to check. He kisses Nate quickly, thoroughly.

“Not over the table,” Nate says, giving Dan a look that’s meant to be serious.

“But Nate,” Dan whines, “ _bro_. you’re such a snack!”

Nate punches his arm, gently. And then takes Dan’s hand, and pulls him towards the bedroom.

Dan can’t stop smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to hang out with me on my [gossip girl sideblog](https://dancommablair.tumblr.com/) which started out as a dan/blair sideblog, and remains a dan/blair sideblog, though with a 10000 other things going on at the same time, as you do. ah, what can i say. there's just too much to love about this trash show. <3


End file.
